


(B)Owned

by Rivine



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Bone Wars AU, Gen, Vice and Fen Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 10:35:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20274517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivine/pseuds/Rivine
Summary: Even the best laid plans can go awry, it just takes a little bit of sabotage.





	(B)Owned

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DesertScribe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertScribe/gifts).

“I can’t believe it!” Tahani cried, not noticing Jianyu’s quickly-stifled laughter behind her. It was an outrage; an utter affront to decency, sportsmanship, and all Tahani’s efforts to make this the best dig in the bone beds. And, of course, to scientific discovery. That was important as well.

“It was beautiful,” she said, “and now it’s been ruined! I can’t have the other expeditions over with it like this.” 

She and Jianyu had been arranging candles on the banquet table made of empty crates. It was clad with unused bone jacketing burlap as a table cloth, and set with tin camp plates. Smaller boxes made up the chairs. Tahani had been pleased with the outcome, given her resources. It was charming, a perfect setting for a rustic sunrise breakfast with the neighboring camps. 

Tahani still didn’t fully understand why she had ended up in a neighborhood of the Good Place that was modeled on something as unpleasant-sounding as the badlands, much less the badlands _and_ the late 1800’s. But she had decided that if this was what would make the neighborhood the best it could be, she would throw herself into it. Michael would not be disappointed in her community-mindedness. She set herself to learning how to swing a pick, she ate tinned beans at least four nights a week, and even wore endless amounts of khaki.

But now her plans of bringing a new standard of excellence to fossil excavation lay in tatters, with no time to fix them before the guests were set to arrive. The _Allosaurus_ skeleton—that Tahani was almost certain was the largest ever found, and possibly an entirely new species—was still in its pride of place on top of a rocky outcropping not far from the table. The first rays of the morning sun would still escape over the horizon, pass over her guests’ heads, and land upon it. The bones she had so carefully polished until they gleamed would be illuminated: a complete skeleton, fully reconstructed on the lovely metal frame Janet had made to Tahani’s exact specifications. But the dawn would also shine on a new addition, a large femur from another skeleton—one not nearly so polished, Tahani noted—wedged into place in the pelvis of the _Allosaurus_, so it jutted up at an obscene angle.

And there was more. Tahani had stacked extra crates into two small pyramids on either side of the _Allosaurus_ to draw the eye in, and these crates had been used as a canvas. Worse still, the writing was in heavy black paint. There was no hope of scrubbing it off in the next few minutes. 

Jianyu put a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. It did make her feel better—Jianyu always had such a calming way about him—but she wished more than ever that he would break his vow of silence. 

“_Boneasaurus rex, Motherforkers,” _Tahani read aloud with outraged dismay. “Who could possibly have done such a horrible thing?”


End file.
